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Signs You Lack Discipline In Dating & Relationships

Updated: 9 hours ago



Having a lack of discipline can affect your life in various ways, especially when you are involving other people, such as your relationship with others and also while you're dating. It's going to show up in variously like: mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially, and also soulfully."Discipline" is defined when it comes to relationships and dating as: "a keen ability to manage your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. Resulting in a sustainable and fulfilling connection, centered around self-control making decisions that align with your own personal values and long-term goals for the relationship".


Establishing Boundaries/ Non-Negotiables And Standing On Business:

Once you recognize your own boundaries and non-negotiables, it's easy to stick to them so you won't tolerate them in the relationship with anyone. The moment you stick to them it's like bam, it's solidified! An issue that can arise with this is when don't stick to your own boundaries or non-negotiables, you kinda give permission to other people to violate in a way (subjective); when you violate your own stuff in the presence of others Being mindful of your boundaries, and your non-negotiables can help you stick to them as best as you can!

Communicating Effectively: Effective and comprehensible communication is the foundation of any relationship. Applying it requires that you express your desires and wants clearly, while also maintaining active listening, empathy, patience, and compassion for your partner or potential. All around, effective communication is a very solid foundation for communication styles.

Being Impeccable With Your Word: Being impeccable with your word means: "saying what you mean and meaning what you say", also speaking within the realm of truth, honor, and integrity, by using your words mindfully, consciously, intentionally, and kindly. It also means avoiding gossip and negativity; lest we forget making promises that you cannot keep! Don't Take Anything Personally: When it comes to not taking things personally, try to remember that we are a mirror. So most of the time, people only see in us what "they want to see in themselves", "they don't see themselves", or "they do see themselves"! Wht others say or do to you is a reflection of them, their own perception of reality, not yours! So don't allow their opinions to define who you are as a person, period! ! Don't Make Assumptions:Asking clarifying questions, getting clarity, and understanding will help you to avoid misunderstandings. When you assume things, you are placing yourself in a position to be amongst conflict, by not making assumptions, you place yourself in harmony with effective and comprehensible communication within your community or relationships. Always Do Your Best: Always doing your best is another foundation of having a sustainable healthy existence, relationships, and life altogether! Giving your best self in any circumstance does not indicate that you're trying to be "perfect", but yet it indicates striving to consistently "improve yourself". "Always doing your best" equates to ambition, not potential. drive, purpose, that passion, it's relentless!

Now that we've covered the bases of what discipline is, let's get into some signs that will show you how you're not disciplined; when it shows up in your life when it comes to dating and relationships. Previously, we talked about the different types of areas where discipline would affect your life because you have to realize it will affect you mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially, soulfully. There's no linear area that discipline can't affect, it affects everything. So when you think of dating and relationships, is adding something to the discipline or lack thereof that you've already acquired, or were programmed to have.


Key Factors That You Lack Discipline:

  • Neglecting Self-Care: Getting into a relationship with someone else and letting your own personal needs go unmet is very irresponsible, harmful, and neglectful. Try to never never allow your health to decline on any level, due to unhealthy habits that you have just acquired because you're in a relationship! Try to get back to re-aligning with your routines, sticking to them, then you'll find yourself back on track! The intention of a "relationship" adds value to your life, not take awayeverything that you have grown to become the structured priorities in your life in healthy, positive manners.

  • Disregarding Your Partner's Physical Needs: Although some people feel like they need to be asked, supporting your partner is a natural part of a relationship. When you commit to someone else, you commit to supporting them. So neglecting their needs as far as their health goals, or noticing things, or supporting them through things, or simply not helping around the house with chores, or even listening to the things that they say they need, can be a sign that you are not disciplined, possibly a little selfish not in a positive way.

  • Staying In Relationships Past Their Expiration Date: When you ignore red flags simply bypassing incompatibility to say "that's just a simple kink or something that you can work out eventually", you're placing yourself in the realm of not being disciplined, possible "attachment-detachment issues". in this state of being you're compromised as a person! Sometimes people stay for familiarity, the fantasy mind they've created in their own mind about the person that they're dating or in a relationship with. There's many factors on why you may stay in a relationship that drains you, but ultimately staying in one that drains you is an indication of a lack of discipline for self.

  • Jalousi Buta (Indonesian for blind jealousy): Consistently operating out of "Jalousi Buta" can indicate you don't even trust yourself in certain aspects; so you can forget about being disciplined because you're going to operate from possessive behavior, insecurity, and constant suspicion of someone else's behavior. These behavior patterns don't make it easy for being in a relationship or dating; I'm not saying that relationships are easy by any means, or that some people don't have natural suspicion,people are not doing things to make you suspicious, what I'm speaking on is consistent behavior in these matters.

  • Inability To Communicate Effectively: When it comes to the inability of effective and comprhensible communication, there's gonna be so many things at play here. Someone who's not an active listener, someone who holds on to the way that they feel and they don't express themselves clearly. They're not asking clarifying questions, they may be prone to emotional outburst because they build up things instead of effectively communicating by clarifying questions, or expresing themselves. When it comes to your partner. giving grace, empathy and compassion is paramount. A person who lacks discipline won't show those attributes of effective communication. They'll hold grudges there will be a lot of misunderstandings in this relationship with this person.

  • Losing Sight Of Your Personal Values: A relationship is an ebb and flow of this existence. It is not a dictatorship, neglecting your own existence to allow your partner to dictate your outcomes is very unhealthy. Sometimes when we allow our partners to lead in certain dynamics, remaining extremely mindful that we arrived at this relationship or potential as a whole person! That's the part person that they fell in love or sought interest to be potentially or committed to. This means whether you're dating or in a relationship, never lose sight of who you are and the things that drive you, your core principles and values.

  • Settling For Someone Just To Be In A Relationship: When you intentionally ignore the fact that someone is not compatible with you, just to be in a relationship with them. Perhaps you have some commonality, yet overall you're incompatible unfortunately this could indicate, setting yourself up for failure in numerous ways. I'm not saying that you and your mate should have everything in alignment, but purposely ignoring these things that are mega red flags can definitely indicate that you are experiencing a lack of discipline.

  • Lack Of Financial Transparency Or Shared Goals: A clear sign of a lack of discipline is not even having the conversation about money management and future planning. How can you plan to be with someone forever if you don't know how they manage their money and if it's in alignment with your own personal values of expenses and. Crap. investing.

  • Overspending: "Keeping up with the Joneses" by living beyond your means is a dangerous place to be. This is also a place of enablement, so having a partner who overspends with you and does not call out your overspending can align you both for financial misfortune, and this is not something that you want. Having a lack of discipline in any area is dangerous, it's completely dangerous not to have this conversation with a potential or someone you're committed to; financial management is a difficult conversation to have, yet it's a necessary conversation that needs to be had.

  • Neglecting Your Spiritual Practices: Allowing your relationships to be your only source of fulfillment definitely equates to. Your personal neglect meant that means you're ignoring your spiritual needs, you're not addressing yourself care properly. And you have no time for fulfilling your heart's desires for self; doesn't equate to neglecting your partner just means that don't leave behind the things you came into that relationship with. Especially if they were beneficial before you entered the relationship or dating. Relationships are solely meant to add to your existence. Now it's up to you whether or not you allow your relationships to add value to your life, or chaos and destruction it all starts with you. remember that!

  • Diminishing Your Partner & Not Taking Accountability: If you use your relationship as an opportunity to constantly criticize someone else, not offering them constructive feedback, meaning giving them tools and tips on how to be better with. In whatever area you're complaining about, you know, or always undermining and saying I guess or yeah, you could have did better, you know? Also, another thing could be you trivializing their feelings. Their concerns are dismissed as overreactions, hypersensitivity, or just plain dumb or quote UN quote silly. Another thing is neglecting their needs as well. It's important to prioritize your needs. For yourself, but you are not solo in a relationship. You're not the only person that matters. Your needs are not the most important that needs to be met, no matter what role you're playing in the relationshi por the type of dynamic that you're in.


Being undisciplined can lead you down a road of not getting positive feedback, not having a supportive network of friends that supports you, not having sustainable, healthy relationships, and not being respected in your respective communities. So it's. Extremely important to keep disciplined about yourself so people could take you seriously. The relationships that you're fostering with them you can cultivate in a harmonious way and you won't have to question yourself a lot and other people won't question your integrity. That's the most important part of this is that showing your discipline shows your integrity. Without even trying. I hope y'all truly enjoyed this article. Let me know what you think in the comments. Until next time, peace peace. Y'all, take care!

 Cited Sources: Don Miguel Ruiz

https://www.miguelruiz.com/the-four-agreements



Nicole Felman

NP,CPLC,CPEC,CP/M LC

JOIN MY COMMUNITY


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